Maine & NH Wedding Photographer // Choose Hype Over History: How to Build the Wedding Party of Your Actual Dreams

Look, your wedding party isn’t just there to play dress-up, sip mimosas, and post selfies (although, yes — 10/10, we love a good wedding day glow-up). These people? They’re your ride-or-dies for one of the biggest days of your life. So when it comes to choosing who stands by your side, don’t let guilt or ancient history make the guest list.

Choose Your Best Support System — Not Just Who’s Been Around the Longest

We’ve all got that one cousin or old friend from high school who we used to be close with. You might feel like you “should” ask them to be in your wedding party because of time served. But honestly? Time doesn’t always equal closeness — especially now that you’re deep in the wedding planning trenches and discovering how very real things get.

This is the time to choose the people who:

• Actually show up (emotionally and physically)

• Cheer you on without making it about them

• Are down to help wrangle boutonnieres, fix flyaways, or hold your bouquet while you pee

• Can keep things calm when your nerves go full rollercoaster

Hype You Up — and Everyone Else Too

The best wedding parties I’ve seen (and I’ve seen a LOT) aren’t just there for the main character energy. They’re team players. They’re fixing chairs, chasing rogue flower girls, hyping up the shy groomsman for his speech, making sure Grandma has a cocktail. That kind of vibe? Immaculate.

It’s not just about supporting you — it’s about creating a warm, pumped-up environment where everyone feels taken care of. And when your wedding party is full of team players like that? Whew. Chef’s kiss. The day runs smoother, the energy is higher, and you feel so much more relaxed.

Red Flags: When It’s Time to Rethink That Invite

If you’ve got someone who’s giving diva energy before the wedding even starts (complaining about costs, ducking out of planning convos, or acting like being in your wedding is a burden) — please take that as the glowing neon red flag that it is.

Your day is not the time to manage other people’s egos. You’ve got enough going on — like, you know, getting married.

Pro Tip: Watch How They Show Up Before You Ask

Before locking anyone in, watch how they respond to the planning process. Are they excited? Are they helpful? Do they check in, offer to help, or at least say, “You’ve got this”? That’s the energy you want walking down the aisle with you.

Pick the people who are there for you now — not just the ones who were there in 7th grade homeroom. Choose the hype squad that’s going to support you, uplift you, and help make your wedding day the absolute vibe it’s meant to be.