Maine & New Hampshire Wedding Photographer // Family Formals: You Don’t Owe Anyone a Spot in Front of the Camera
Alright, let’s get real for a sec.
Some couples are super into the whole family formal thing—those classic, everyone-smile-at-the-camera group shots. And that’s totally cool.
But some of you? You’d rather stick a fork in your eye than line up a dozen relatives who haven’t spoken since 2007 and act like it's a Christmas card shoot.
I see you. And guess what?
It’s okay to keep it short.
It’s okay to keep it simple.
It’s okay to not include everyone.
Let’s break it down.
Why Family Formals Feel Like a “Must-Do”
A lot of people do family formals because they feel like it’s expected.
Maybe your mom wants a picture with all 87 of her cousins.
Maybe your grandmother believes if you don’t take a photo with your second cousin’s girlfriend’s niece, you’ll be disowned.
And listen—I'm not saying you shouldn’t take those photos if they’re important to you.
But if you’re only doing it because you feel pressured, it’s time for a little permission slip from yours truly:
You are allowed to do the bare minimum.
What Does “Bare Minimum” Look Like?
Three groupings per side?
Perfect.
Parents, siblings, grandparents. That’s it. Done.
Smile, hug, go drink a cocktail.
Didn’t include your great aunt’s son’s college roommate who randomly showed up?
That’s okay.
You can always grab informal photos later—candid ones at the reception, a quick shot if they catch you during cocktail hour. No stress, no lineups, no fuss.
You Know What Matters?
That you and your fiancé have a day that feels like YOU.
Not one that feels like a staged family reunion you didn’t actually want to host.
Your wedding is about your connection.
Your love.
Your freaking moment.
So if wrangling 50 relatives for an hour-long portrait session isn’t your vibe?
Don’t do it. Or do the tiny version of it.
You’re allowed to protect your peace and your timeline.
Pro Tips from a Photographer Who Gets It
Keep your family formals tight and efficient.
Tell extended family ahead of time that photos will be limited. Boundaries = fewer awkward moments.
Create a realistic list—and if it’s short? Even better.
I always build in a buffer in case someone insists on one extra grouping (hi, Aunt Carol), but I will shut it down if it starts derailing the day. That’s my job.
You hired me to document your story, not become the director of a multi-generational film shoot.
You Don’t Owe Anyone a Spot in the Lineup
You can absolutely make your family happy without losing your sanity.
Do a few key groupings. Smile. Hug Grandma.
Then go live your life with your new spouse.
Family formals are a tradition.
But they’re not a requirement.
Let’s keep it simple, stress-free, and all about you.
– Val
Professional third-wheel, boundary protector, and formal photo minimalist
