Maine & New Hampshire Wedding Photographer // Your Wedding Is Not a Performance for Other People

(Yes, I’m Saying It Again—and I’ll Keep Saying It Until It Sticks)

Here we are, once again, shouting this from the metaphorical rooftop:

Your wedding is not an obligation. Not to your mom. Not to your Aunt Linda who “just wants a photo with the bride.” Not to your childhood neighbor who wasn’t even invited but showed up as someone’s plus one.

Look—I know I’ve said this before. I’ve written about this. Talked about it. Laughed about it. Ranted about it. And I will continue to yell about it in all caps and italics until it’s no longer necessary. But based on the number of times I still hear, “Well, my mom really wants me to do X…” or “It’s just tradition,” we are nowhere near done here.

Repeat After Me: You’re Not a Cruise Director

This day? It’s about you two. The ones getting married. The ones who will walk away from this celebration with actual legal documents, rings, and maybe some blistered feet from dancing your faces off. So why are we still out here planning weddings based on someone else’s preferences?

You don’t owe anyone a bouquet toss. And honestly, the garter thing? Feels more like a creep show where no one knows where to look. Just because your parents did it in the 80s doesn’t mean you need to replicate it. They also had perms and shoulder pads. Let’s evolve.

Tradition Is a Suggestion, Not a Rule

If you want to do a cake cutting—great. Smash it in each other’s faces and make it a core memory. But if you’re only doing it because your sister says “it’s not a wedding without cake,” then we need to have a serious chat. The same goes for forced toasts, awkward wedding party lineups, and that weird pressure to go table-to-table saying hi while your dinner gets cold. (Reminder: you paid for that dinner. Eat it.)

More and more of my couples—aka the rad, no-BS, intentional humans that find their way to my inbox—are tossing out the rulebook. They’re skipping wedding parties altogether. Ditching the “on display” moments that feel more like a middle school presentation than a celebration of love. Some aren’t even doing toasts unless someone specifically asks to say a few words. And guess what? The sky hasn’t fallen. Their weddings are so much more relaxed and authentic because of it.

The Vibe Is Yours to Set

Let’s be real: if you’re hiring me, you’re probably already leaning into this mindset. You don’t want a cookie-cutter wedding, and you’re definitely not trying to perform joy for someone else’s scrapbook. You’re here to feel it, live it, soak it all in—and have it documented in a way that actually feels like you.

So yeah, this is me again—repeating myself like your favorite band playing your favorite track on repeat.

Your wedding is not an obligation.

It’s not a tradition parade.

It’s not your mom’s wedding 2.0.

It’s yours. And the second you start planning it that way? That’s when the real celebration begins.=

Now go eat your damn dinner and skip the bouquet toss. I’ll be over here capturing the chaos, the calm, and every real moment in between.