Maine & NH Wedding Photographer // Let’s Talk Family Formals: Make the List, Check it Twice, and Please Don’t Add 3 Pages
Alright, let’s just rip off the veil here—family formals can be the most chaotic part of your wedding day if we don’t go in with a game plan. The good news? You’re not alone in this. I’ve done this hundreds of times and I’ve got some hard-earned advice that will save your timeline, your sanity, and possibly your relationship with Aunt Karen.
So let’s break it down.
Make Your Family Formal List… Thoughtfully
Step one? Actually think about who you want in these group photos.
Not just blood relatives either—if your bestie is basically your sister, add her. Want a shot with your college roommates? Cool, put it on there. There’s no rulebook here.
But don’t wing it the day of.
If it’s not on the list, we’re not doing it unless we have time. And we rarely do, because let’s be real: someone’s gonna be in the bathroom, wandering off, or chasing a toddler when it’s their turn.
Keep It Realistic, Not Ridiculous
Here’s the deal—if you only want to spend 30 minutes on family formals, don’t hand me a scroll with 83 groupings.
I love you, but I’m not a magician and I’m definitely not wrangling all 27 cousins for individual shots in under five minutes.
Let’s be honest with the time we have. If the list is long, either:
Add more time
ORTrim it down to just the essentials
Want that giant group shot with extended family and your parents' neighbors? Awesome. But let’s do it during cocktail hour when we have more breathing room.
Location, Location, Location
We’re not hiking to a mountaintop to take these photos. Why?
Because Grandma deserves better.
Pick a spot that’s close to the action but just far enough that we don’t have random guests wandering over to insert themselves into the lineup.
We want privacy, we want shade, we want efficiency.
(And we don’t want Cousin Steve drunkenly photobombing your pic with Grandma.)
The Wanderers & The Buffer Zone
Let me say this loud for the people in the back:
There is always one person who wanders up asking for a random photo.
Always.
I’ve built a little buffer time in just for that.
But I’ll be real with you—if things start spiraling and we’ve got folks lining up like it’s picture day at school, I will cut it short to respect your timeline and the rest of your day.
You hired me to document your whole day, not just a family reunion.
When Should We Do Them?
Great question. You’ve got options:
Before the ceremony (with a First Look): We can knock out a good chunk of family formals then. It’s calmer, you’re fresh, and it frees you up to enjoy cocktail hour.
After the ceremony: This is traditional and totally fine. Just know people are more antsy to party, which can make things a little more herding-cats than calm-and-posed.
During cocktail hour: Great for extended family or big group shots.
You just gotta pick what works for your vibe, your timeline, and your people.
Make your list with intention.
Keep it realistic for the time you’ve set aside.
Be inclusive of the people that actually matter to you.
And please… no four-page PDF of every living relative you’ve ever met.
Your future self (and your photographer) will thank you.
