Maine & NH Wedding Photographer // Stop Traumatizing Your Wedding Guests Over What They Wear

Alright, let’s address the over-dressed elephant in the room: Why are we out here traumatizing wedding guests to the point where they feel like they need to get outfit approval from the couple before the big day?

I’m not talking about the one golden rule we can all agree on: Don’t wear white to someone else’s wedding. That’s it. That’s the hill. We don’t climb it, we don’t plant flowers on it, we just leave it alone. I mean, we’ve all seen Schitt’s Creekand watched Alexis waltz into David’s wedding in a literal wedding dress. Hilarious on TV. Less hilarious in real life.

But somewhere along the way, we went from “don’t wear white” to “you must submit your outfit for clearance by the couple’s fashion tribunal two months prior.” Guests are now texting photos of their dresses to the bride like, “Is this okay? Will I be banished to the back row?” And honestly? It’s exhausting.

Your Guests Are People, Not Props

Let’s not forget—your guests are there to celebrate you, not to serve as perfectly coordinated extras in your Instagram content. They should look nice, sure. But they should also be able to breathe, eat cake, and dance without risking heatstroke.

Case in point: making a guy wear a three-piece wool suit in 95° heat isn’t chic, it’s cruel. It’s less “elegant wedding” and more “medieval torture with cufflinks.” There’s a big difference between “dress appropriately” and “we’re willing to sacrifice you to the gods of formalwear.”

It’s Only a Thing If You Make It a Thing

Here’s the truth: guest outfit drama is only a thing if you make it a thing. If the couple is chill about it, guests will still show up looking great. And they’ll remember your wedding for how much fun they had—not for the moment they realized they couldn’t breathe in their Spanx during cocktail hour.

Let People Be Themselves

Your wedding should be about joy, love, and a good time—not a high-stakes fashion show where everyone’s terrified of committing a color or hemline crime. Encourage people to show up as the best-dressed version of themselves. If your uncle feels most like himself in a breezy linen shirt instead of a suit jacket, let him live. If your friend rocks bold patterns like it’s her job, she’s going to make your dance floor photos look even better.

At the end of the day, the best weddings are the ones where everyone feels comfortable, welcome, and ready to party. Trust me—no one’s going to care that Cousin Jen wore a floral maxi dress instead of a solid pastel when they’re screaming along to Sweet Caroline at midnight.

So, let’s stop traumatizing our wedding guests. Give them the basic ground rules (no white, no actual wedding gowns unless you’re the one getting married), and then let them show up, have fun, and be themselves. Your wedding will be better for it—and so will your guests’ sanity.