Maine & NH Wedding Photographer | Smaller Weddings Are Better. Yep, I Said It.
Let’s just get this out of the way: you do not owe anyone an invite to your wedding.
Not your mom’s cousin’s husband. Not the aunt you haven’t seen since you were six. Not the random relative who wouldn’t recognize you in the grocery store but somehow expects a chicken dinner on your dime.
If they aren’t present in your actual life?
They can politely, or not so politely…. fuck off.
And honestly? Smaller weddings are where it’s at.
Most Wedding Guest Lists Are… Weird
Here’s something no one talks about enough:
A huge chunk of wedding guests are people the couple barely knows.
They’re invited because:
“It would be rude not to”
“They’re family”
“They invited us to their wedding in 1998”
“My mom said so”
Cool. Love that for everyone except the couple paying $200+ per plate.
Why are we stuffing a room with people who don’t actually know you, when you could be surrounded by people who actively show up for you?
30 People > 130 People (Fight Me)
Imagine this instead:
A wedding with 30 people.
Not a single awkward hug.
Not one forced conversation with someone asking, “So how do you know the couple?”
Everyone there knows your story.
They’ve seen you cry, laugh, screw up, grow, fall in love.
Blood-related or not — they’re your people.
That kind of energy?
Unmatched.
Spend Your Money Where It Actually Matters
Smaller guest list = more money for the good stuff.
Like:
Incredible food people still talk about years later
A killer flower installation.
A DJ who actually understands the vibe or a live band that rips
Details that feel intentional instead of filler
A venue that feels like you, not just “big enough”
Instead of feeding people you don’t know, you’re creating an experience for the people who matter most. And that experience hits harder when it’s intimate.
You’re Allowed to Have Boundaries (Even on Your Wedding Day)
This might be the most important part:
It is 100% okay to tell family you don’t have a relationship with that they’re not invited.
You’re not cruel.
You’re not selfish.
You’re not “breaking tradition.”
You’re choosing peace.
You’re choosing meaning.
You’re choosing a wedding that actually feels like yours.
And honestly? Anyone who throws a tantrum about not being invited probably shouldn’t be there anyway.
Your Wedding, Your Rules
At the end of the day, your wedding is not a family reunion.
It’s not a guilt-driven obligation fest.
It’s not about keeping the peace at your own expense.
It’s about celebrating your relationship with people who genuinely give a shit.
So if that means a smaller guest list, better food, better music, deeper moments, and telling distant relatives to fuck off?
I fully support that decision.
And as a wedding photographer who’s seen everything — trust me when I say:
the smaller weddings always feel the biggest.
